The mouthwatering next front in the war for control over the post-Trump Republican Party has revealed itself: The burrito.
And its combatants have proven more bloodthirsty than beans-and-rice crazy.
The carnage began after Andrew Kolvet of Turning Point USA weighed in on the ongoing affordability crisis that’s dominated American politics since the Biden years by noting that one student recently asserted that the tortilla-wrapped treat shouldn’t cost $20 a pop.
“Yeah, a lot of this is a hangover from Covid and Biden-era inflation, but the lived experience is the same: It just feels like basic things cost too much,” concluded Kolvet.
Conservative Twitter exploded.
Ben Shapiro assured the youth “a burrito does not cost $20,” and remarked that “If you’re paying $20 for a burrito and you’re not independently wealthy, you’re doing life wrong.”
This compelled The Federalist’s Sean Davis to characterize the “Current neocon war inflation messaging” as ruling “fast food burritos” out for the lower and middle classes.
Missing the point
Elsewhere, Matt Walsh took exception with The Babylon Bee’s Joel Berry over the observation that his wife had furnished enough burritos for their family of eight with less than $20.
“Grocery prices have gone up by 30 percent or more this decade. I’m happy for you if your family isn’t significantly impacted by this problem. But it is real. And it is a problem,” sniped Walsh. “And conservatives better come up with an answer that isn’t just ‘learn how to make cheap burritos.’ ”
And in the most viral exchange of fire to date, The Washington Post’s Marc Thiessen was rebuked in ad hominem fashion by Vice President JD Vance for telling the student in question to “Cry me a river.”
“I’m surprised to hear Mark [sic] say this. If you’ve ever met him in person, it’s quite obvious the man has never missed a burrito,” submitted the guy a heartbeat away from the nuclear codes.
Vice President JD Vance leaves a lunch with Senate Republicans in the U.S. Capitol in Washington, District of Columbia, on Thursday, August 6, 2026. ZUMAPRESS.com
It ought to go without saying, but everybody participating in the great conservative burrito war of 2026 is losing it.
Not because the underlying issues fueling it are silly, but because the Right’s leading lights are too busy taking potshots at each other to get down to the business of actually governing.
Republicans won the White House and both chambers of Congress two years ago largely because voters blamed former President Joe Biden’s pandemic-era spending spree for the sky-high price tags that followed it.
The $20 burrito is merely a symbol of the inflationary anchor that’s been tied around Americans’ ankles.
An employee prepares a Chipotle Mexican Grill burrito at the Sunset and Vine store in Hollywood, California. Bloomberg via Getty Images
And while the rate at which the prices of home, food and other essentials skyrocketed may have decreased in recent years, the actual prices themselves never came down.
To extend the contentious metaphor: if the burrito that cost $10 two years ago and $18 last year costs $20 now, you can’t exactly expect their consumers to celebrate — even though significant progress has been made.
So while some Americans’ refusal to live within their means has compounded the cost-of-living crisis’ ill-effects, conservatives eager to casually dismiss voters’ concerns aren’t just wrong on the merits, they’re cruising for an electoral bruising.
For his part, President Trump recognized the war on inflation as his chief mandate at the outset of his second administration, even directing his Cabinet “to marshal the vast powers at their disposal to defeat what was record inflation,” which he attributed to “massive overspending and escalating energy prices,” in his inaugural address. Unfortunately, his actions since have been at odds with that pledge.
JD Vance’s tweet on X about the burrito beef controversy.
Trump’s tariffs (taxes) and the uncertain business environment he’s fostered with his arbitrary approach to their implementation have only made things worse.
Moreover, his failure to either secure the Strait of Hormuz at the start of Operation: Epic Fury or “go for the kill” in the intervening months has left energy markets in flux for months.
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The president needed to either seek total victory or refrain from launching Epic Fury at all; his attempt at fighting a “Goldilocks” war has proven disastrous.
Vice President Vance, by the way, is the second highest-ranking officer in the administration responsible for these self-defeating policies.
Andrew Kolvet’s tweet on X about the burrito beef controversy.
More work, less talk
He’s been granted that honor and privilege for four short years; could he justify using this taxpayer-funded time in power to dish out clumsy fat-joke tweets?
Both the burrito alarm raisers and budget hawks raise key points.
Surely there’s a way to take this fact pattern — life is too expensive, government should do what it can to make it more affordable (mostly by getting the hell out of the way), and Americans can take pressure off themselves in the meantime — and craft a much-needed political agenda and message around it.
But instead of getting to work, the Right is fighting a proxy battle over the direction of the GOP come 2028 while still in control of the entire federal government.
At once deny the fire exists and then pour gasoline on it; ask former President Biden, former Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer and House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries how that worked out for them.
